![]() ![]() There may be many reasons for uttering this, despite being there, one of which might be a preference for a certain stage. I want to emphasize, however, that so many times people say kids are “growing up too fast,” they are actually right there with them… sometimes even living with them. In that case, the statement being said is, “I wish so much I could be there for every minute, but I can’t! I love you deeply, and will be there the first moment it becomes possible.” In the heartbreaking situation where someone literally CANNOT be in person with the child that is growing without them there, the pain is unimaginable. It breeds tragic feelings of helplessness. There is so much to be thankful for, being a parent, but being chided that you’re not enjoying sleep deprivation enough is not one of them. I couldn’t help but wonder: Was HE the one in his family who was getting up every three hours for months on end? Was HE the one who was at the doctor over and over for the pain of nursing gone awry? Seemed unlikely. It devalues the massive DAILY work of raising children.Īs a corollary to #2, the majority people who have been doing the day in and day out work of feeding, washing, and loving children would not call it “fast.” When my daughter was 6 months old and still not sleeping, a man I hardly knew said to me, “Enjoy every second - they grow up so fast!” Change happens incrementally, so paying attention makes it a flow of stacking pieces rather than a shock. When we take the time to frequently pause and appreciate what they think, look, and act like on a daily basis, this “too fast” business isn’t such an issue. However, if you take the time to really absorb and appreciate what is happening every step of the way (so many loved ones gathered together!) the evening will stretch, long and vivid, in your consciousness. If you don’t do this willful mindfulness, they explained, the wedding will zip by in a blur. The advice continued: keep that same intentionality as much as possible during the event itself. The best advice I got before my wedding day was to take my time walking down the aisle, and look everyone directly in the face - really paying attention. Let’s back up to look at this phenomenon in a different context. ![]() ![]() When the phrase “they’re growing up too fast” is said by people who ARE around the child on a more frequent basis, that begs a whole other set of questions. It suggests you haven’t been paying attention. This is a heartbreaking and real facet of this “grow up so fast” discussion that underscores the pain so often behind these words. (Note: Thank you to the reader who wrote to emphasize that global circumstances can sometimes make it IMPOSSIBLE for people to see loved ones in the way that they yearn to. In the case of my friend, I began sending more frequent photos, arranging Facetime calls. However, that doesn’t mean they’re aging “too fast” - it just means that doing everything we can to spend more time with them, even video calls, makes it less of a shock how they’re changing. Yes, humans grow, develop, and change, and the longer you’re away from another person, the more obvious the changes are. With the new distance, however, there suddenly arose the shock of my son’s physical changes across the months. Back in the days when she lived close by and watched my guy evolve from week to week, there was joy and connection. In that moment, I realized that I deeply missed my friend’s weekly visits since she’d moved away. I got the idea to write this article on the day a dear friend uttered the words, “Your son is growing up too fast!” upon seeing his photo. ![]() The most frequent times I hear the phrase, “That kid is growing up too fast!” it is being said by an adult who hasn’t been face to face with this child in months, or even years… and sometimes that can be downright sad. Kids being kids: Growing and exploring! 1. Why? As a parent and teacher, I’d like to explain the reasons that you might want to think twice about saying something like “kids grow up too fast” the next time you encounter a young child gaining on you in height and advancing in years. Me? These utterances punch me in the gut every time. You might have even heard the version (directed at the kiddo), “Stop growing! You’re getting too big!” especially when elementary school aged kids go through growth spurts. Share on Facebook Share on Pinterest Share on X (Twitter) Share on Email Share on WhatsApp Share on LinkedIn A Problematic Phrase with Upsetting ImplicationsĬhances are, you’ve heard an adult exclaim: “Kids grow up so fast!” or, “They’re growing up too fast!” while gazing at a child who suddenly seems much taller than they remembered. ![]()
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